Hands off Caster
So last week Olympian Caster Semenya wedded her long time steady Bae Violet and all the lovers of hate crimes went rabid? Skawara Caster; the squad and I are here for you like we are there for each other every chance we get-together like kaDezember.
So, December mornings at kaLanga – the rural place I call my home – are like Ezulwini Valley afternoons to a tourist – sundowners with a slice of simple but insightful conversation with locals. So that morning, the boys and I, like a well-oiled machine, we were rolling in banter. Mazwe had the podium.
Mazwe is a mineworker in South Africa’s North West province. He was sharing memories of his first few days in SA; the truck loads of money he suddenly had at his disposal, the never-ending entertainment which he could surprisingly afford… Just like the night he spent buying drinks by the dozen for this gorgeous woman he had met at the pub that night.
His new-found mineworker friends were even jealous of him. They kept asking; ‘What do you think you’re doing? Stop spending on this person, you’ll finish your money for nothing’. But Mazwe didn’t care and kept the waters running for his new squeeze.
‘But when we got to my place with this beauty, I understood what my buddies had meant, she was so beautiful and well groomed but she was not a woman’.
‘So what did you do?’ One of my boys asked.
‘I did what we’d both agreed to do when we spoke earlier at the tavern. She explained to me that this is who she is. I wasn’t mad at myself or her because she had not misled me in any way. I was the one who just assumed that she was what I was looking for – a woman. She was quite sweet actually’.
Understanding Gender & Sexual Diversity
None of us asked Mazwe any further questions except the rhetorical nod from the boys; ‘Oh! So, you mean your person was like so-and-so’s child?’, in reference to a local community individual.
The conversation flowed smoothly to how each one of the boys would handle such a situation if they found themselves in it. There was an energetic back and forth about ‘I would never…’ and each of these pronouncements was quickly followed by what one may have thought was a rehearsed chorus; ‘Why? Explain. In detail’.
And interesting observation I made was that none of them cited religion or culture or even societal norms/expectations to defend why ‘they would never’. Instead, their answers centered on how they perceive themselves as individuals; ‘…because I’ve just never imagined anyone other than a woman for me’.
Suddenly we were all disarmed by a calm and composed interjection from Jemusi; ‘Well, I can’t say I would never because I can only know my actions once I’m in such a situation – it’s quite easy to make a verdict on something you’ve never experienced, to instantly dismiss it, but once you’re faced with the situation face-to-face, it’s a different story’.
This is exactly why these boys, my childhood friends, are my life’s truth and conscience. Most of them are primary school dropouts but they possess wisdom and logic can only I crave to see in most of my tertiary educated acquaintances.
See, my country boys always speak from a humane stand because being human is all they know and therefore identify with.
Meanwhile, back on the Facebook and twitter streets (because that’s how I interact with my ‘friends’ – virtually and not face-to-face like I do with my boys), I see comments like, ‘Caster married a fellow woman, so the suspicion was right’.
Some even call for Caster’s ‘corrective surgery first if she’s decided she’s a man by marrying another woman’ (advocating correcting rape much?). Some express anger and disgust because ‘the bible doesn’t permit such’.
These are the people who know Caster and accept that she’s what is commonly referred to as ‘intersex’ or ‘transgender’ but more importantly that she’s their child and deserves the good things that all the neighborhood’s children deserve.
Simply defined; intersex is used to describe a variety of sexual reproductive conditions – where a person’s sexual composition doesn’t seem to fit the stereotypical definitions of male or female.
Caster has one of 46 such types of intersex conditions – Caster was born with both male and female characteristics - she has no ovaries or uterus even though she was raised a woman.
The first time most of us heard of Caster was during the 2009 Berlin Olympics, where her gender was disputed – some athletes claiming she had an unfair advantage over the women she raced as her body was that of a man. I can only imagine being confronted by such a private matter on a public stage, confronted by something that you made no choice over.
Fast forward to 2015 – the same public challenges you for something you have a choice over – choosing the one you want to love and spend your life with. Who are we to decide not to respect other people’s children and other children’s choices and humanity in the case where they do not have a choice but to be?
I’ve addressed this in previous articles and will continue to until something gives; when, in our day-to-day oral narrative we label people like Caster, and gays/lesbians as wierdos, as we do with disabled people, we essentially exclude them from all the public services that ‘normal’ people access such as clinics, hospitals and police stations, where they may even need to report rape (because we’re all about corrective what-what isn’t it?).
So by now you know where I’m going with this – let’s not be intimidated by the phrase ‘freedom of expression’ or ‘freedom of association’ but when we close other children out, by defining how they should express themselves in how they dress or love, we are fundamentally disregarding their right to freedom of expression and right to associate freely.
If you can protect a red carpet like maybe you’re Aladdin, surely you can protect a human soul talented and born this way like lady Gaga?
So, December mornings at kaLanga – the rural place I call my home – are like Ezulwini Valley afternoons to a tourist – sundowners with a slice of simple but insightful conversation with locals. So that morning, the boys and I, like a well-oiled machine, we were rolling in banter. Mazwe had the podium.
His new-found mineworker friends were even jealous of him. They kept asking; ‘What do you think you’re doing? Stop spending on this person, you’ll finish your money for nothing’. But Mazwe didn’t care and kept the waters running for his new squeeze.
‘But when we got to my place with this beauty, I understood what my buddies had meant, she was so beautiful and well groomed but she was not a woman’.
‘So what did you do?’ One of my boys asked.
‘I did what we’d both agreed to do when we spoke earlier at the tavern. She explained to me that this is who she is. I wasn’t mad at myself or her because she had not misled me in any way. I was the one who just assumed that she was what I was looking for – a woman. She was quite sweet actually’.
Understanding Gender & Sexual Diversity
None of us asked Mazwe any further questions except the rhetorical nod from the boys; ‘Oh! So, you mean your person was like so-and-so’s child?’, in reference to a local community individual.
The conversation flowed smoothly to how each one of the boys would handle such a situation if they found themselves in it. There was an energetic back and forth about ‘I would never…’ and each of these pronouncements was quickly followed by what one may have thought was a rehearsed chorus; ‘Why? Explain. In detail’.
And interesting observation I made was that none of them cited religion or culture or even societal norms/expectations to defend why ‘they would never’. Instead, their answers centered on how they perceive themselves as individuals; ‘…because I’ve just never imagined anyone other than a woman for me’.
Suddenly we were all disarmed by a calm and composed interjection from Jemusi; ‘Well, I can’t say I would never because I can only know my actions once I’m in such a situation – it’s quite easy to make a verdict on something you’ve never experienced, to instantly dismiss it, but once you’re faced with the situation face-to-face, it’s a different story’.
This is exactly why these boys, my childhood friends, are my life’s truth and conscience. Most of them are primary school dropouts but they possess wisdom and logic can only I crave to see in most of my tertiary educated acquaintances.
See, my country boys always speak from a humane stand because being human is all they know and therefore identify with.
Meanwhile, back on the Facebook and twitter streets (because that’s how I interact with my ‘friends’ – virtually and not face-to-face like I do with my boys), I see comments like, ‘Caster married a fellow woman, so the suspicion was right’.
Some even call for Caster’s ‘corrective surgery first if she’s decided she’s a man by marrying another woman’ (advocating correcting rape much?). Some express anger and disgust because ‘the bible doesn’t permit such’.
Choice Matters
Back in Limpopo where Caster was born and raised, it’s reported there was genuine happiness and celebration for Caster and partner at the wedding (I refuse to call it a traditional wedding as widely reported – story for another day).These are the people who know Caster and accept that she’s what is commonly referred to as ‘intersex’ or ‘transgender’ but more importantly that she’s their child and deserves the good things that all the neighborhood’s children deserve.
Caster has one of 46 such types of intersex conditions – Caster was born with both male and female characteristics - she has no ovaries or uterus even though she was raised a woman.
The first time most of us heard of Caster was during the 2009 Berlin Olympics, where her gender was disputed – some athletes claiming she had an unfair advantage over the women she raced as her body was that of a man. I can only imagine being confronted by such a private matter on a public stage, confronted by something that you made no choice over.
Fast forward to 2015 – the same public challenges you for something you have a choice over – choosing the one you want to love and spend your life with. Who are we to decide not to respect other people’s children and other children’s choices and humanity in the case where they do not have a choice but to be?
I’ve addressed this in previous articles and will continue to until something gives; when, in our day-to-day oral narrative we label people like Caster, and gays/lesbians as wierdos, as we do with disabled people, we essentially exclude them from all the public services that ‘normal’ people access such as clinics, hospitals and police stations, where they may even need to report rape (because we’re all about corrective what-what isn’t it?).
If you can protect a red carpet like maybe you’re Aladdin, surely you can protect a human soul talented and born this way like lady Gaga?
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