Grassroots: the origins of good leadership

Firstly, congratulations to EFF leader Julius Malema for his BA degree graduation. 

For me, it’s not even about the weight or meaning of the academic qualification but more about what this young man and his infant organization sell; they sell confidence and fearlessness in our life time and Malema has demonstrated exactly this with his university graduation this week.

It’s key to note the confidence and fearlessness with the same importance as the phrase IN OUR LIFETIME because Malema’s story of a poor boy from the grassroots level of society, raised by a single [grand]mother, rising to become a powerhouse, is a story we have heard before but always remarkable, and to witness it IN OUR LIFETIME makes many people who are the target audience of the EFF buy into their campaign for economic freedom IN OUR LIFETIME. 

Malema’s is also a story of a young man who faced many hurdles in the sometimes deadly game of politics but HE CHOSE not to be distracted or defined by the negatives around him and instead focused on his purpose – his leadership abilities and responsibilities.

So, Malema takes us straight to it; module two of [Personal] Leadership 101. Still the basics that could save us a lot of future troubles if we started today to mold them into a foundation for our day-to-day lives a.k.a grassroots leadership; because nothing grows to have an impact on others without having its feet on the ground, without the most basic level of organization which for any child is a family.

In a few weeks I’ll be spending a whole weekend with my step-daughter for the first time. Most women have often described such first encounters with step-children as daunting. 

My only definition of ‘daunting’ is a sudden early morning one-on-one encounter with a hen that’s walking her week old chicks on the small path leading to the desperately needed pit latrine, so I’m feeling pretty confident if not excited about our weekend because I trust my leadership/parenting skills in this regard.

I doubt I can say the same for many of my peers. This is why I think the step-parenting module of leadership should still be considered for future generations. 

If someone could foresee way back before we were born, in 1973, that as a Swazi people, a way of governing ourselves via multiparty governance was not going to suit us, then someone ought to also have predicted that school lessons on step-parenting were necessary for us.

The family structure has not been the same for many years now and for a myriad of reasons. There are more women raising children without their fathers because of;

• ·         break-ups including hostile separations like divorce,
• ·         death of the father due to low life expectancy presented by chronic diseases, violence and car and workplace accidents,
• ·         women choosing to have children with men who are already monogamously married and
• ·         women simply choosing to give birth or adopt babies solo.

Whatever the reason(s) for us raising our children without their biological fathers, I think someone with a vision should have foreseen that starting, at least, from people of my generation – there was a great need for formal classroom type structured lessons in step-parenting. 

Seriously, look around, how many of your friends and relatives are or on the path to being step fathers or step-mothers?

If we’d formalized these lessons in step-parenting, we probably wouldn’t have problems of women denying the fathers of their children access to their offspring for whatever rubbish reasons they’ve convinced themselves to be valid; because by the time one is grown enough to make a baby, their earlier school lessons in step-parenting would be a reminder that everything that happens around the child should happen only in the best interest and welfare of the child.

Ladies, you don’t have to like the new woman in your ex’s life or even your ex for that matter, but you have to like your child and country enough to make decisions with their future in mind. 

Same applies with the grandparents [and step-parents] that are sometimes a barrier to fulfilling the best interest of the child, if they are exposed to these lessons, they would know to exercise leadership by the time their [grand] children are born. This, my friends, is leadership in motion. So we didn’t get it right in the past but we can still correct this.

Gentlemen, I’m as much a believer in leadership as I am in family, so I will be the first to advocate for a law that makes it compulsory for fathers to spend a certain amount of time with their children. 

Of great importance to understand is that ‘maintenance’ doesn’t build or strengthen the soul of relationships. Even sex workers require your physical presence ahead of the financial transaction, so please – stop treating our children inhumanely by depriving them of your physicality.

It should seriously be mandatory for separated biological parents to schedule time to co-parent their child[ren] together. The step-parents from either side can tag along during some of these bonding moments but the important thing is for the child to have both the parents at the same place, engaging in the same activities with the aim to contribute to the child’s development (this is crucial for a leader in the making). 

Remember what we say; it takes a village to raise a child [and not money], at least in the African context so I encourage each one of us to ponder harder on our grassroots leadership roles.

Human beings thrive on consistency and structure laced with all the elements that make us human like feeling, touching etc in order to develop healthy relationships with themselves and others, which in turn has them living a meaningful and impactful life.