Simply Philile

The ridiculousness of the things I see and hear about marriage these days, particularly as it relates to women is increasingly disturbing.   It all has me asking what Tyler Perry asks with his movie title: Why did you get married? Additionally, why are we getting married? I'll start with the woman in the mirror. In my 37 years of living I've agreed to at least three marriage proposals. Reflecting on it today, I realise I agreed only because they had asked.  Yes, I'm polite. I’ll blame my parents for this because discussions on manners and love featured more prominently than marriage – marriage was just never really a thing in our household. Hence ‘knowing’ serious follow-up questions to ask when a proposal to lead me to a place called 'Happy Ever After' is made wasn’t part of my reflex. It probably serves me right then that “uNumber one” as Gogo Louisa would say, dumped me only a few months after I’d taken him to my parents and allowed him the priv...

As I reflected on yesterday’s public holiday it occurred to me that King Sobhuza II is one of the most celebrated ancestors of this country; within the kingdom and beyond the immediate borders for his role in the mass movement of decolonizing Africa.  In this realization I further recognized that I’d thought of the late king as an ‘ancestor’ – something that Swazis are increasingly wary to associate with apparently because any ‘traditional’ practices and rituals related to ancestors are evil and therefore bound to cause delays on the highway to heaven. ‘Traditional’ medicine (herbal and spiritual healing) was what ALL Africans used before the colonizers that King Sobhuza II and his peers at the time eventually drove back to Europe arrived in Africa.  But like with many other distinctly African features, we have gradually lost and shamelessly demonized and despised our ways in favor of the new ways.  Of course, like King Sobhuza II is reported to have sai...

Next Tuesday is International Women’s day. One of my friends remarked how boring a topic this is when I told her I was considering it for today’s article.  For my part, I was reluctant at first to write to this subject because I feel that I’ve been writing quite a lot to women’s issues over the past few weeks. But sanity prevailed when I realized that for the first time since I started ‘teaching’ about Women’s Day over two years ago,  I have national reach through this column, to help correct the inaccuracies around Swazis celebrating ‘Women’s Day’.   Yes, we seem to be the perpetual victims of passive alien culture consumption, leading us to celebrating historical events that have nothing to do with us. Quite frankly, it’s been excruciating to observe practically the whole country – public and private entities, invest financial and emotional resources to commemorating Women’s Day on August 9 of each year.   As, I recall, there was e...

The topic I delved into last week was never going to be exhausted in just 900 words as prescribed by the space available for this column. So I will continue to address issues of identity - the Swazi identity - even today, and likely over a series of articles to come. Firstly, thank you to those who shared their insights with me after reading the article, your input is valued and appreciated.  One of the things that stayed with me, raised by those who interacted with me on the subject matter, was that one of the values that we have as Swazis is respect and that is a huge part of our national identity. Okay, I’m moving a bit too fast – first a gist of last week’s article titled ‘National Identity Crisis?’ In this article, I asked what it is that defines us as Swazis and what values this definition is based on? I probed the meaning of the widely-held perception/belief that we are a united nation, asking what is it exactly that makes us believe that we are united.  ...

Phew! Last week was certainly exhausting for news and current affairs hounds and concerned citizens… #SparrowGate and its effects…And it seems it’s not over yet… The latest being the dismissal of renowned broadcaster and Idols judge Gareth Cliff from the popular television music show for apparently defending the racist remarks by Penny Sparrow. I don’t want to go back there anyway, it’s just too draining. I must say though that last week’s events and subsequent debates about racism in South Africa got me thinking further about identity issues in Africa, especially since in my previous article I had referenced the hypocrisy of some South Africans, who while raging mad about racism, were silent and even supported those of their own who brutally discriminated against fellow black people from other parts of the African continent in 2008 and 2015 attacks. In addition, it was interesting to see, as always with events happening in South Africa, that Swazi nationals living in Swazi...

Earlier this month, on July 9 th , my mother turned 74 years old. On the phone call I made to her, she bragged about how her 74 years didn’t just happen because “ phela sidla kahle tsine lamakhaya, kudla sibili, namuhla nje ngipheke emahala ” (Us ruralites eat good organic food out here, today I cooked  emahala ).  Emahala  are small plants that not only look, but taste like aloe. I know. As I spoke to her I reflected on some of the lessons I’ve learnt from her. “Ungaboyihawukela intfo lekhashane nawe” (Be realistic about your expectations, they should always be within reach). These are my mother’s words that stuck with me from teenagehood.  But of course, as a teenager, I never wanted to give her the satisfaction that these words (or any other of her unsolicited counsels for that matter) made sense to me. Mother and I on Table Mountain, Cape Town in 2008. I was studying toward  a second post-graducate degree and working at SABC TV at this time. ...

Like many of my fellow Swazis, I’ve come to accept that our country could just as well be classified as a South African province. It annoys the hell out of us when South Africans in particular say, “You guys in Swaziland MUST just be officially incorporated into South Africa as a tenth province and Lesotho the 11th…”  It doesn’t annoy me anymore though. Firstly, because I realise that even if Swaziland did become a part of South Africa, it would not happen in my lifetime. Secondly, the reality is that we depend heavily on South Africa for most commodities including electricity, mobile telephone communications, food, jobs…you name it. Heck we even use their currency as legal tender inside our kingdom, just like the BaSotho.   Simunye (we are one) We sing along with vigor to their gospel harmonies courtesy of the likes of Joyous Celebration and Rebecca Malope, and we dance like mad to their Kwaito. We scratch our heads a few times before calling a distant Aunt to remind us...